Books and Wine

Books and Wine

Friday, August 15, 2014

Losing the battle with my 40's

I really wished I would have paid more attention to family members that have gone through their 40's. I feel at times that I am losing my mind and since I spent my 20's and half of my 30's medicated ( for a illness) , I am fighting so hard to stay away from anxiety or depression pills. I am starting to realize that there is nothing  that a glass of wine can't fix.
Honestly, it was when I turned 41 that I noticed my first sign. I started wishing I had longer arms just so I could read my texts. Now, I carry reading glasses in my purse and I have them placed around the house for easy access. My second sign was that "what" ,"I didn't hear you"  and " can you say that again " became common in my everyday conversations.
The last couple months of 42, I noticed my patience was running low, I guess I have always been impatient but now it is literally hanging by a thread.  I know about menopause,  I am not stupid. I think it was when I heard the words pre menopausal from my doctor that everything starting falling into place or in my case out of place. There are days were I feel like I am walking around in a sauna, I am easily frustrated to the point that I yell or could verbally hurt someone and at times I feel like my body/mind is taken over by a alien. All I hear now is, "what's wrong?"  and that really makes me want to scream. I love my family but alone time is now starting to feel like a vacation. I had to ask my hubby " how old I was today" I still thought I was 42 when he said 43, I was like....really!!!
I am 43 and at times I scare myself with my mood swings, if I was my friend or family member I would not want to hang around me. Wine sweet wine is something that I am starting to look forward too.  I am not that bad right now but a glass or two once or twice a week helps me out alot. The scary thing is turning 45, if I need wine now I am going to have to get my hubby started on building me a wine cellar.

No comments:

Post a Comment