Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Housework and why I should have set chores for my family

I am 43 and mother to a soon to be 22 and 20 yr. old young ladies.  I am a old fashion housewife that believed if my husband worked and my children worked hard at their schoolwork, my job was to handle the housework.

My parents set chores and I felt that it was like my older sister and I had to carry the house load and I never wanted my children to feel that. I started working at the age of 16 and then at 18 I became a licensed cosmetologist, I was diagnosed at the age of 22 with mixed connective tissue disease ( RA and Lupus). I was disabled at a early age and could barely take care of my babies. I think that left a lot of guilt on my shoulders because I had to have help and I felt helpless, I hated that feeling. With the help of lots of medication, I was able to get back on my feet. I wanted to feel like supermom and that I was capable of doing everything.

I look back and I start to think where I went wrong in the parenting department. I have wonderful loving daughters, I just didn't ask much from them while they were growing up. Which makes my expectations from them non-existent when it comes to housework.

It was during my girls middle school years that I did set chores, but I ended up doing them because they wanted to do them a hour before bedtime. They did do dishes once and a while. I  just didn't stress that the tables had to be wiped down, the stove needed to be clean and the floors swept. I don't even want to get started on the bathrooms. Growing up I was always told that the main rooms in your house that should always be clean were the living room, kitchen and bathrooms. I have always tried to live by that rule, I just don't feel strong anymore. Mentally, I am starting to feel frustrated all the time. The worst feeling is when I feel taken advantage of, I can scream and shout and slam cabinet doors but there is really no one to blame but myself.

I have to start realizing that I have grown children that should realize what needs to be done to maintain a household. I gave 21 damn good years as a mother and wife, I gave more than my all and it's time to ask for help. Well, the one thing that I hope someone takes from reading this is set chores early on in a child's life. You are not hurting them your preparing them to be independent, clean and organized for when they move out on there own.

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